To the single mom on Mother’s Day… I love you. It’s 2:30 am, the Friday before my first Mother’s Day and I can’t help but lay in bed and cry. I am looking back at all these pictures of Max and seeing how much he has grown in such a short time. How is this possible? My 7.7 miracle baby is now a 14 pound smiling, happy baby. I am happy that he is happy and healthy but a part of me is sad.
I am sad he doesn’t have the constant father figure I always wanted my child to have. I wanted to hear my child’s first word be dada – but now I dread that word- I wanted Max to run up to him after a long day of work. And as a boy mom I wanted him to have a great, constant male role model but that wasn’t Gods plan for me and you know what… that’s ok.
As a single mama I don’t think we are told “I love you enough”. After a long day with a screaming, crying, sleep deprived newborn we don’t have our husbands or boyfriends coming home reminding us of how hard we are working or that they love us for all the hard work we are doing. I find myself seeking this gratification and I got a lot of praise from Instagram. My Instagram besties constantly remind me of how amazing I am and how lucky Max is to have me as his mama. Is this conceited? You could see it that way. But I don’t think there is anything wrong with giving yourself a pat – or three – on the back.
So this Mother’s Day when you see everyone asking for their gifts from their partners or seeing the gifts they get remember you have a gift so much greater that money simply can’t buy. You have the gift of a beautiful baby that you are raising ALONE! You are literally teaching another human everything he/she knows about the world and the best part, you are teaching them how to love. You are showing them your amazing work ethic, your kind heart, your brave soul, and your gentle hands. You are changing someone’s life each and everyday.
While your babe may not be able to craft you something in school yet, sit in bed with your little one for just 30 minutes and just play. Stare at each other, learn what one another likes and dislikes. Take the sweet alone time to soak it all in because as we have all realized time flies by so much faster than we think it does.
So this year for Mother’s Day, instead of sulking that I don’t have a significant other to celebrate me, I’m going to celebrate myself. I am going to remind myself that I am raising a human on my own without the reassurance of a spouse, that I have great friends and family, that my baby is happy and healthy, I have an amazing community of IG besties, and that I am loved by Max. And isn’t that the most amazing gift of all? We are loved by these tiny humans more than they could ever explain- if they could talk!
Here’s to the moms that are doing it alone. You are strong. You are brave. Your beauty is brighter than you know. You are an amazing mom. You are loved. You are loved by me and Max. You are loved by your friends and family. You are loved by my friends and family. You are loved by single mothers everywhere. You are loved. While I know it’s hard and easy to forget you are loved, today’s your day. Read a book, take a bath, do your hair, put on a dress and twirl, and hold those little ones a little tighter.
These past three months have been harder than I ever imagined but they have also been the most rewarding. I can’t wait to see what amazing things Max and I discover together and I can’t wait to one day have a man that loves us and can celebrate how beautiful motherhood is with us – but for now, I will take all the extra loving I get from Max.
“You’re not a mess. You’re brave for trying.”