Any day now Max will enter this world but let me tell you… I can not wait any longer! I have become the sassiest impatient woman ever and to my friends, I apologize. Here are the 9 ways you know you are 9 months pregnant. Please excuse my sass but Momma’s, you know you’ve thought each of these things.
1. If one more person asks me when my baby will be here.
– Do I look like a psychic?! I want my baby to be here just as badly (more) than you do.
2. Can you wait to have your baby till…?!
– Wait, excuse me…what?! No. I can’t wait for when it’s most convenient for you to deliver my child! Nor do I really want to, if we are being honest. I don’t get to pick when it’s convenient for me so there’s no way I can make it convenient for you.
3. I drop EVERYTHING.
– And the worst part… I can’t pick anything up without falling to the ground and laying down backwards to get it.
4. Feet? Knees? Do I even have those anymore!
– Ladies, not being able to see your cankles is kind of a blessing but do you know how frustrating it is to try to paint my toenails?! Good news is… PEDICURES!
– LOL. I can’t tell you the last time I was able to shave or at least shave well. I have patches everywhere and there’s no way I would last through a wax this pregnant. Talk about embarrassing places for your water to break…
– Another huge LOL. What even is sleep?! And if one more person asks how I slept and responds with “well it’s preparing you for a baby” when I tell them I slept terribly. I get it. I know I’m not going to sleep, I know I shouldn’t be sleeping now but WHY DID YOU ASK ME HOW I SLEPT ONLY TO TELL ME YOU KNOW THAT?!
7. Clothing so tight
– You know you’re preggo when even your leggings and big t-shirts don’t fit. Pretty much living naked from this point on.
– If you are type A like me… I have been nesting since I was like 5 months pregnant. As much as I rearrange and re clean, I still find something to do. And the worst part is – I’m out of breath after like 10 minutes of work.
9. I have never been more excited for a blind date in my life.
– No matter how much I bitch and complain this last month, I know the reward is the best one I will ever receive. And while I know it’s great my baby is continuing to develop in my belly where it’s safe… there’s just something about being able to hold your baby for the first time and kiss them as hug them for real.
Momma’s – let me know if there’s any other 9 month momma moments I forgot!
“You’re not a mess. You’re brave for trying.”